Last Friday Night... I Studied. What?

One day, in my tenth grade, we had book for counselling (don't ask me why), and inside, there's a page where everyone can write a good thing about the person owning the book. We move the book around the class and eventually the book will return to the owners. Guess what? Someone wrote "Get a life" on mine.

Like, Captain wrote bipolar (I'm mentally healthy, actually...) and Mel wrote cortisol, and I can't remember what else is there, but get a life? Seriously? And is that even a positive thing?

To be honest, I told a teacher once that I do homework on Friday night, and he thought I should get a life.... yeah....

But here's the thing. I'm not gonna state the details, but I'm stuck with grades that require high maintenance, short attention span, and some lack of confidence. So yeah, I kinda have to spend Friday nights doing homework. And it's not like I don't have school on Saturday. Yep, I GO TO SCHOOL ON SATURDAY. Mandarin homework? Gotta do it on Friday. No choice here.

And it's not like I don't want to have fun. It's just that two years of doing homework everyday to save time to study for exams just get to me, and now I feel super guilty if I even dare procrastinate. Good thing is, I almost always have enough time to do all homework and assignments. And I get on the teacher's good side. Hey, even if I doodle all over my textbooks, at least I do my homework properly, right?

I've been asked why I do this, and I can't really remember how I get to be like this... My middle school self was totally the person who gets A and Bs after studying for only a very short while, like one or two hours, and then play. How? I don't know! Thing is, I might still be able to achieve the same thing now, but the stakes are a lot higher too... If my past self saw me now, bet she'll laugh.

I've seen classmates who join clubs and extra classes, but struggle with their scores. I can't say I wish I could do the same, since there isn't any of such activities that interest me at all. What they do seems to add more problem than solve any to me, and I'm not into their purpose. When I do like something, as seen with the Programming class, I'm really into it. I guess I just "haven't found my calling" or something... Besides, my grades DO get me somewhere. It just makes so much more sense for me to spend every time available doing school work rather than hanging out. At least doing school work helps me understand the subject and remove the pain out of the way.

Agree 100%

So here's this. I have a life. I just decided to use it for something that doesn't seem worth it. Probably not the best idea, but hey, at least I'm not lying to myself by doing what I don't think is worthwhile. 

Now don't even think of asking what I do outside of school. Outside of school = not at school = at home = studying. Oh the irony.

More like to study everyday.