Being on My Own

For a few days, I had the chance to live in Onee-chan's unit abroad. Just me and Onee-chan. Well, we spend most of the day away anyway, but i can kinda get a sense of what living with her would be like. Thing is, I want to study where my Onee-chan lives now. I've already got a conditional offer and only need to graduate.

To be honest, I don't know if I will do well. I mean, I don't know how to do laundry, I don't know how to cook proper food. I don't even know if I'll have any good friends or anything.

I do learn, however, that your future depends on you. I can study on my own, like without having others tell me to study. I can manage time pretty well. I've created a plan to eat without having to cook, like a diet based on cereal.

I do need to stop asking everyone what assignment we have for next week, since I'll need to keep track of it myself later on. I also need to start asking questions on my own rather than thinking "Ah, one of these people will ask somehow." They say you only have yourself to depend on once you go to university, so I better learn to do that.

It's pretty much what we should now anyway. It's highly beneficial if I do that now, and I always try to ask the teachers myself if I really have to.

And finally of course, yes: do your homework yourself. I mean, asking other's to do your homework is not gonna solve anything, buddy. Don't get mad if you don't pass the test. I mean, doing homework does help you, and as so is studying a few days in advance. Start doing that, people!

Phew. It's done! It had to be done but now it's done, so yay! see ya next time!

Holiday Season!!!

Holiday is coming! I've seen Christmas decorations since early November, but I don't feel like talking about it until a little later. I like Christmas for it's merriness and cheerful atmosphere. We're pretty much not studying anymore around Christmas, so what a way to enjoy the joy of the holiday season, right?

So here's a list of the things I like from Christmas. They might be the shallowest thing, but I can't lie and say I like something else, since I hate more than I like. Now, let's start! First one!

School holiday

Well of course I'm gonna say this. I mean, every day spent at home is a lot. Like, a lot. I have many ideas, many things I wish I could do during school holiday but can't for obvious reasons. School holiday is like the best chance to catch up. I can continue my unfinished Hetalia project - I planned it for Hetaday, but school work is piling, so now I can work on it- and photoshop a bunch of things. I can watch movies, and thank goodness Moana came out around this time! And who doesn't like holiday? Two weeks of waking up way later than 5 am? Gladly, thank you.

Christmas Tree

Okay, I don't really know why I like Christmas tree either, but I guess I kinda owe it to childhood memories of decorating Christmas tree. It's kinda nostalgic when you remember being so little that you can barely reach the top half of the tree, and now you can put the star on just fine. I mean, it's kinda weird thinking how much you grow and how much you haven't changed. I also like the trees in public places that got decorated very beautifully. I kinda like how random it can look, and no matter how old your decoration is, it can still look good somehow. At least I think mine does, and we still put like 15 year old decoration on. Heck, we even have some that look like it fits better during Chinese New Year! Also, speaking of...

Decoration

Christmas decoration is somehow appealing to me. One of my favorite is set on a mall nearby. That time, they display dioramas of puppets, like teddy bears if I recall correctly. It was damn cute! Forget snow, forget Santa houses. Puppets! So damn cute! I also like ornaments. They can be set anywhere, from trees to houses. The lights also look very beautiful at nighttime. They're just so bright and colorful. I kinda think they bring some atmosphere too. Candles also do the same, just not colorful, unless someone is planning to burn alkalis to produce different fires. Don't think it's really worth it anyway. That would be the perfect science Christmas for me, though!

Cards

Though I might not look it, I do make cards for my friends. Well, not really what anyone would expect. I made them with photoshop and send it via Line. I enjoy doing it, though. I've been doing it for the past few years and I LOVE putting Hetalia lyrics in there! I guess you can say that's one way to make up for all the insults I've thrown at my friends, accidentally or not. Last year, I made five cards; One for Celeste, one for Octavia, one for Captain, one for Hormones, and one for my Arashian onee-chan. The Arashian one got posted to LJ, I'm so happy! This year, I plan to make only two. The rest will come along somehow if I have the time. I'll try my best!

Songs

Now I could make an entirely new list from just this one. I LOVE Christmas songs. I just love them so much! The bells, the choir, I don't know, they're just unique and lovely! Some songs can really make you feel the holiness of Christmas, like Silent Night, What Child Is This, and other songs I couldn't think of right now. Some other make you feel the joy of Christmas holiday, the fun and the gathering, like We Wish You a Merry Christmas, Jingle Bells, and some do both and make you really excited about Christmas, like O Come All Ye Faithful, Joy to the World, and many more. These songs really made me excited about Christmas. I mean, there are some arrangements that I don't like, like the 4/4 We Wish You a Merry Christmas, since I like the 3/3 one. Most of them just don't generally go wrong though. I also love Synthetic Orchestra's Christmas arrangement of video games, it's just so beautiful!


So, that's my list of Christmas features that I love! What do you love from Christmas?

Doing School Work

Okay, this post is gonna be weird, but it's gotta be so it's gotta be. So it is as it's gotta be.

Now, I've been terribly busy, like, really busy. There's still assignments and lab report waiting to be done, but I've done about half of them, so I can have some time for myself. This week's been rough though. Exam everyday, some days even more than one, it's kinda crazy.

So. Freaking. True.

I've made a post about how I decided to keep on with this tiring lifestyle, not caring about "social life" at all. I mean, I want good scores, so I get it. With hard work of course. I study for like 7 hours a day after school. I kinda sleep early lately, but you get the idea. Even when there's no exam tomorrow, I do everything as soon as possible, from assignment to homework. Even if the teacher only assigned the tasks that exact same day. If I can do it, I will do it. Get it done and over with, then sleep without any burden.

See, this is why you do homework

However, I also learned during high school that I am one of some few diligent students, those who actually study and do homework. No offence, but I know some people who does homework every morning before school and doesn't put much effort in their studies at home. Worse, some just copy their friend's homework. I saw my friend saying that those homework we get is unimportant. I mean, yeah, you can actually copy your friend's homework, but what if she doesn't exist? Stop relying on people and actually do your own homework. Don't you ever think that she's actually pissed off because you're constantly using her brain for your own while she works really hard just to get any answer written down? Sometimes I'm grateful that I'm not that friendly.

We worked hard, and so should you.

Having to do many difficult homework actually sounds more like meh now. Back then, when I just entered high school, I really hate life. It's like, "Why do I have to do all of this?" Now it's more like "Go work on something, you lazy bastard!". I used to consider sleeping at 11 is very late. Now, sleeping at twelve is normal. I've slept 2.30 AM in the morning, and I have to get up at five, without any nap during the day, for three nights during that one week. It was pretty crazy, really. School was like, uuurrrgghhh.

Being busy everyday, now I don't really consider homework and assignments such a waste of time or anything. I learned to do these work, manage time, and finally stop fretting so much and actually work towards getting the snow off the path. It's quite an improvement, really. I actually learned to focus more on how things can be solved rather than how it should have been.

I like to think of what I learned in high school as me being a hero of my own adventure. It may be for some treasure, or to save loved ones, or to save the world, it can be anything. It's like playing a game. What matters is how you're acting as a protagonist. What weapon will you choose, what skill will you improve, what item will you need? A hero fights till the end, a player reloads from the last save file after a game over screen. A hero leads their party, a player finish the game on their own. A hero will fight a boss despite it being twice or thrice his size, a player will look for weak spots and attack there. Life is one heck of a tough game, but if many can survive and finish the game, so can we.

That took a really different turn. Now that it's done as it's gotta be, it is. And since it is, it doesn't have to be done anymore, nor is it gotta be what it is. So it is. Headache? Me too. I sleep waay too much lately.

Doodles

I doodle a lot. I mean, like, a lot. It ranges from random spirals, random shapes, to cats and humans. Most are drawn in... well, inappropriate places. Ehehehe. I get bored rather easily (despite the fact that I could hardly afford being bored at home) so I draw on whatever paper is available, including napkins (the paper kind ones, not the cloth) in restaurants. Not kidding.

I'll be honest, my drawing is nowhere near excellent. Mel's drawing is really good. You'll probably see some in her blog. However, my drawing is only occasionally good. When I'm that bored, I can draw really good drawings. Most of the time, they're not something that I'm proud of. And, unlike most people who draw, I don't have a particular sketchbook. My drawings are scattered all over the place. There is a book that's pretty much filled with my drawings, but that's not really a sketchbook. It's just a regular notebook which is supposed to be an extra used for miscellaneous purposes. Mostly, I just end up drawing there.

I started drawing when I was in kindergarten. Somehow, me, my sister, and my brother all draw to some degree, although my sister don't draw that much. My brother's drawing, however, is really good. He even went to several competition during his college days.

In middle school, I joined a fashion design class. That's where I learned to draw proportional humans. Then, a few years later, I developed my own style of drawing. I draw mostly human back then. It was an awkward phase, when you think you can draw but most of the time you drawing turns out really bad. Things kinda get better during high school, though.

I know, this is kinda weir. I promise it was the coloring. The sketch wasn't this bad.

That's one that I draw during high school. Better than before, but still weird. I tried to color with photoshop, but I kinda failed spectacularly here.

Here's something better.

Featherfly! More like feathery butterfly.
Celeste once joked around and somehow got an idea that inspired me to draw this thing.

I drew this before I got to high school, but color it after. I didn't have particularly good coloring skills back then, so this is as good as it can get.

A turtle with a stump. Stumptle?

Here's one that I drew in eleventh grade. I kinda liked this one, although now that I look at it it's kinda weird too. I still like the idea, but I can never draw it this good again. I also colored it with photoshop. This time I use path, textures, and some limited skill that I have and made this.

It's still weird, but you have to admit that it's not bad.

I was really proud of this when I first made this. Now, I'm a little ashamed of it. I mean, I could definitely do something else with the background. The mushroom should be darker too. I'll tweak around someday when I feel like it.

Nowadays, I draw more cats than humans. Reason? Cats are simpler to draw. I don't draw realistic cats. Instead, I draw it like this.

It's cute, isn't it?

This is drawn fully with Adobe Illustrator. I kinda like how cute the cat turned out. There are more cats around, but I'm too lazy to search.

That's some of my drawings and doodles. Gotta post more someday when I feel like it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more homework. Bye!

Friendship

It can be the best thing in your life, it can be the worst decision you've ever made. Yes, it's weird, but it's gotta be done so it's gotta be done. And I'm gonna be talking about friendship.

No, seriously, I gotta do this.

So, anyways.

I'm one to have few good friends rather than lots of just friends. Like, I have just the amount of people that I would need in the future. And really, I love my friends. They may not be the best people in the world, but they're my good friends.

We've been going through $#!& storm lately. I mean, exams, assignments, this isn't even the last wave. Everyone has their own low points, from identity crisis to failing grades, we've been a wreck. No kidding, we really had to rant to each other. Some even fangirl to forget their stress.

And we're always there to support each other. I was stressed out with my project, and I went to Captain to rant. I had to something annoying and I go to Celeste and Octavia. I mean, I was so angry yesterday that Octavia was scared. Mel rant a lot in group chat too.

Some people has a lot of dramas between their friends, and I'm glad I don't have any. What matters is that we share and we care. It's not what you'll get from a friend, but what you can share. Not necessarily give, but share.

And it's how much you've grown to care about them. And caring is important. It's not about how much time you spend together but how much you trust and understand each other.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about caring about my friends, I mean, I value them rather highly now more than ever. I want to care about them more even though I'm usually more like a jerk in front of my friends. I just now thought that maybe I should care more about them, maybe try to help them more like actually try to teach lem rather than say "Well, you know.... it's like that laaah...."

So it's done, so YAY! It's gotta be done and now it's done so it doesn't have to be done anymore even though it had to be! So, hotta go, bye!

Hetaliaaaa Hetaliaaaaaaa Hetare HETALIAAAAAAAAA

Hetalia has been a part of my life since middle school. I love Hetalia. I watched the anime ever since I was in 7th grade. As odd as it seems, I can stand Hetalia jokes, but still can't stand idiocy anywhere else. And hetalia isn't exactly the genius kind of show. I know that seems very subjective, but it's just how it is.

Even so, the sad fact is... I MISSED THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY. AAAAAAGHHHH. I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN AWFUL FAN.

And that's why I want to make a post about Hetaday, to lessen my guilt. Unfortunately... school work is piling up, so I can't make anything particularly awesome. I know... high school... I have a Biology exam tomorrow, and somehow I care more about Hetalia than Biology right now. I feel so guilty to both parties...

Anyways. I can improvise during the test. Let's talk Hetalia.

Axis Powers Hetalia's Logo

I started watching the anime after my sister introduced it to me when I was in 7th grade. Somehow, I just watched, watched, watched, and grew obsessed. I told my friend Celeste about it, and she spread the fandom to some more people as well. Just like that, I now have some Hetafan friends. Or more like friends who are Hetafans. Eh, same thing to me. Point is, I can talk about it with someone.

Years after first knowing of its existence, I begin to see more and more of its fandom and canon, and I love it even more. Until.... The World Twinkle came out. Yeah, I kinda stopped watching there. I don't like the sixth season, although the fifth is fine. The Beautiful World has some great character songs too.

As a rather long time fan, I have my own reason to stay in the fandom. I think Hetalia has another side other than just mere stereotypical jokes. This side is partly why I love Hetalia so much. This other side, unfortunately, requires you to look closely to notice, which is why I only found it during eighth or ninth grade. (Can't remember exactly when.)

Before we get to the serious part, let's see the lighter side. Basically, Hetalia is just a show about nations, ranging from historical events to cultural differences. It's mostly funny, showing both good and bad/annoying sides of every character while being mainly neutral. It doesn't show how bad some nations are, it doesn't show how good the others are, it simply shows you what they all are. Italy can be a real "hetare" guy, but he's a very nice person and a loyal friend. Germany can be a very strict leader, but he's the one who actually made the world meeting go on. No one is perfect, and no one is awful. That's fair and real, and I'm grateful for that.

Marukaite chikyuu, boku Hetalia!

And with all that, Hetalia conveys the message of diversity. I first realise when I listened to World Parade. Even though everyone else that I know hate it, I love it so damn much. All of Hetalia's ending song has many versions by many characters. Each version has their own unique style, from the lyrics to the instruments. What makes this special to me is, despite all the differences in each version, it's still the same song! If you listen to World Parade, (which is fanmade, by the way) you can hear some parts where they all sing in unison, which sounds to me like a choir of nations singing together.

What speaks diversity about this is that even though every nation, every person is different, we are all essentially the same. We are all human beings, we need food, water, air, and we just want to be happy. Living in a very diverse country, I can say that differences often get in the way of things. People fight over their beliefs, trying to do things their own way. However, Hetalia has taught me that rather than pointing out every little thing that bothers you, it's often better to just laugh it off. After all, we are just trying to sing the same song with our own version.

Image not mine. I don't know whose this is though.
(http://s89.photobucket.com/user/AmayaTazuniya/media/Hetalia/AxisandAllies.jpg.html)

Another way to think of it is by looking at the characters. The nations, despite looking fairly young, are mostly centuries old. What we see during the series is what they want others to see them, strong, cool, happy, and all that. What I think they really are is so much more than that. These nations live through history, through war, peace, changes, basically they went through a lot more. They're not just some shallow characters. Although it's not shown that much, I feel like there's so much more that what we see. All the pain they went through, all the glory and defeat, has changed them in some ways. Hetalia has some serious episodes that really got to me. Episodes like America's Closet Cleaning and Jean of Arc's episode from The Beautiful World really hit hard among the fans. These kind of episodes shows that these nations has so much more in them than just being stereotypically funny.

I LOVE THIS PAIRING. BUT IT'S TRAGIC. AND SAD.
WAAAAAAAAH *criesinacorner

To be honest, I just discussed all this with Celeste earlier. We talked about what we like and hate from Hetalia, and also how it has changed our life.

I was the one who told Celeste about Hetalia. Somehow, she grew attached to it, just like me. Now, we have both grown up quite a lot, (mentally, of course) and we both agree that Hetalia is not simply a fandom that we like for shallow reason, but a fandom that we don't want to let go. Ever since she started watching the anime, (I didn't know where to read the manga until a while later) we just can't stop talking about it, to the point that we won't deny that we were OBSESSED with Hetalia.

However, I would have to say that Hetalia really made me some friends. I can say that Celeste and I got really close partly because of Hetalia. Octavia and I met because of Celeste, and we did talk about Hetalia (Although what we did was mostly fighting for no reason. Scratching, poking, annoying Octavia is hella fun!) Octavia and I did get close during high school, although if I hadn't known her before I wouldn't have known her now.

Friendship is the best.

Hetalia has made the world somewhat better for me. Everything that it taught me, the friendship I made that I owe Hetalia for... This Hetaday, I want to express my gratitude to Hetalia. This would be more appropriate if this were it's tenth anniversary, but because I somehow missed it, I'll just say it now.

Himaruya, thank you for creating Hetalia. May the nations continue to screw up the world conference (just kidding. that would be bad, actually...) and may their story continue along with our beautiful world.

Finally, let us draw a circle, wave our white flags, sing our rondo, and go aboard the Hetalian Jet with pride!

PS: I actually planned this post together with Celeste. She posted her Hetalia story in her blog here. Captain has also join the parade! Here's her post! They both made awesome posts, so make sure to check it out!

Youtube Classroom

Everyday, I open Youtube through my phone, either as an attempt to entertain myself or to prevent falling asleep before my homework is done. Either way, I use the app everyday without fail, with the exception of the times when I have to go somewhere without wifi. I mean, watching with data is expensive as heck.

I've been hanging around youtube for the last few of my middle school years and my entire high school year. As odd as it seems, Youtube is kind of a second school for me. Thing is, there are any things on Youtube that I didn't learn at school. I mean, you might be thinking what a video could possibly do, but when I tell you that I subscribe to various science channel and frequently watch some others that I don't subscribe to, it should make sense, even if just a little bit.

It's actually more than just science. Years of watching my favourite channels actually taught me some things. I'll list some of them here.

Science, DUH
Well, science channels teach science, even more than my teachers. I love trivial science facts, and I wouldn't say no to what Youtube Science Channels. I subscribe to Smarter Everyday, minutephysics, minuteearth, ASAPScience, and also watch Scishow and TED Ed fairly frequently. Honestly, because of these channels, I know the wavelength of visible light (at least green light), poisons, how tattoo works, animal hybridisation, GMO, and many more. What science teacher would teach how tattoo disappears over years, what substances can kill, multiverse, heck the national exam is a more important concern for now, and I totally agree. That's why I look for facts elsewhere.

Hate comments
Youtubers get a lot of hate comments. There are always trolls waiting under the bridge to launch their hate towards everyone. However, youtubers mostly try to ignore them. Why? Because they're not gonna help you. Their comments are just coments. If they keep on listening to these people, they will never be able to develop their channel. If pewdiepie listen to the people who said his channel is stupid and agrees, his channel wouldn't have had the most subscribers in it. Sometimes in life, some people just doesn't want to see us succeed. Some people just wants to bring us down. Some underestimated us and call us an idiot. However, listening to them won't help us grow. Instead, we should listen to people who actually care, who actually believed in us as much as we do. Channels like to collaborate with each other, sometimes creating some amazing content, like Veritasium and Smarter Everyday's collaboration, which was about testing the Coriolis effect. I personally think those two really took advantage or the distance separating them. Moral is, instead of listening to the trolls, listen to people who really deserves your ear.

Journey
A channel will have to start somewhere. Everyone starts from nothing. Matpat didn't even have a legit video editing software at first. Heck, he had to do a frame by frame animation back then, moving images by two pixel every frame! Many starts with little to no money to fund the channel yet managed to climb the rock and now makes a living out of Youtube. Life is often like that. It's what you do that makes you someone. It's not easy to make a name for yourself, but somehow there's a way. Some channels rely on crowdfunding, like Kickstarter or Patreon. If you have the determination (and are not some kind of a shameful excuse of a human being) there is a way to achieve your goal.

Enjoy life
Youtubers do what they like. At least most of them. Gamers do let's play, musicians do music videos, teachers and scientists teach, and so forth. Youtube has given them the chance to promote themselves, sharing their gifts, entertain the public, and spread knowledge. This taught me that I can do what I like. Many youtubers just love what they do and do what they love. That tells me that putting heart into your work really matters.

Honesty
This is kinda unusual, but being honest is important for your work. First, youtubers have to be honest to themselves to do their best. It's hard to be good at something you don't like. They really need to know what they really like and what they really want to do. Second, they need to be honest to others, viewers and creators. After all, you want to build trust between you and your viewers and your friends. Well, lying to viewers might not really be obvious enough to notice, but creators will notice if someone else steal their videos. By stealing, I refer to posting a video that's not yours without crediting the original creator at all. Thing is, those videos are their life, they cost money and time to make, and stealing them for your own profit is definitely unacceptable. The original creators deserve all the benefits from the video. Please, if you want to use their video, ask for permission or at least credit them.

That's for now. I'm having troubles forming a good sentence. See ya next week!